“It has taken me decades to learn what a boundary is, and what it isn’t. Despite what us nervous-over-empaths might fear, a boundary is not a wall. It is not punitive. And, it’s not something you hide behind in quaking terror. No, a healthy boundary is simply a circle that you draw around something that is sacred. Then you safeguard the sacred thing that abides within that circle and treat it as holy. Nobody gets to enter that sacred circle from a place of disrespect. They just don’t. They just CAN’T. Because: SACRED. Period.
The great mythologist, Joseph Campbell, said that the only thing a human being needs to do in order to render something divine, is to draw a circle around it and say “everything inside this circle is sacred.” And lo, it comes to pass. You get to decide what is sacred. You get to decide what gets sanctified.
The sacred thing inside the circle can be your time, your creativity, your loved ones, your privacy, your recovery, your values, your mental health, your activism, your joy, your heart and soul. You yourself can stand at the center of a sacred circle that you draw around your very own being and say, “Everything inside this circle is holy.” Not because you think you are better than anyone else, but because you have humbly accepted stewardship over the divine and mysterious gift of the universe that is YOU. And, you choose to honor that gift and take care of it with reverence.
Anybody who shares and respects this sense of your inherent sacredness is allowed to step into the circle. Anybody who does not (or cannot) respect your inherent sacredness can wait outside the temple. That’s it. That’s all.
I love what Elizabeth has said here and share it because it has so much relevance for those who are survivors of narcissistic parents and for anyone who has been traumatized and feels that it is not their right to stand up and say “No more”.